BBC2 - dont exclude me
“Ugh” is my usual response when I see yet another tv program focussed around children’s behaviour at school or at home, and my reaction to seeing BBC 2’s “Dont Exclude Me” listed was no different. You can almost predict what you are going to see, and I have taken to avoiding these sort of programs to avoid becoming irritated and infuriated by the same old ideas, strategies and lack of recognition of possible Special Educational Needs. So I don’t know really what compelled me to watch this program. Maybe as I have put myself out there as a Parent Support Worker and Mentor and entered the world of blogging I felt a responsibility to watch, reflect and give my perspective on it.
“Last year nearly 8000 children were permanently excluded from school, the equivalent of 31 each school day”
Within the first 5 minutes of watching the program I felt the usual pang of sadness as I watched young Oscar struggling within the classroom environment. I recognised the behaviour as it was very similar to my son’s at that age. The talk of him at the age of 6 already having had fixed term exclusions and seeing him fidgeting on his chair and being disruptive immediately raised the question of whether he had special educational needs. The mother’s description of how Oscar was at home, being aggressive, growling and 2 hour long outbursts was all too familiar to me. I was interested to see how they approached the difficulties this young boy was experiencing. The program showed that the school had implemented some strategies such as being allowed outside to have a run to help burn some energy, but despite the school staff seeming like they genuinely wanted to be able to support Oscar better it was clear that there was a lack of training in how to approach the issues. This appears to be where the expert Marie Gentles comes in.
There were some of Marie’s approaches that I actually felt were really good. I liked how she talked about behaviour being communication of unmet needs, and possibly anxiety, and I liked how she encouraged relationship building between the staff and the children and seeing past the behaviour, and how she talked about feelings with the children and how the staff can validate the children’s feelings. I even recognised some helpful strategies that Marie put in place for Oscar at home such as a visual timetable and sticker chart (Please note that I do NOT recommend these for children with a PDA profile)
What I found difficult to watch was the use of language around making good and bad choices, the use of consequences, and most of all the use of restraint in what was in my opinion an entirely preventable situation. There were actually a couple of situations which I feel could have simply been prevented altogether.
For example the scenario that was shown with Oscar where staff had given him time at start of day with PE teacher and Oscar had come into school in a “bad mood”. I found this all really distressing to watch. He was clearly dysregulated and needed some support but both the teacher and Marie started talking about Oscar making wrong choices. When a child is dysregulated they are NOT making choices, and by saying so blames the child for their behaviour. This makes them feel bad and lowers self esteem. In that moment he needed help and redirection however the situation escalated and Marie seemed to feel that the best course of action was to grab Oscar and hold him in restraint. I found this really difficult to watch and I really do not feel that it was necessary in that situation. In addition there was far too much talking to him whilst in hold and in distress. It is well documented that when a child is in fight or flight mode which Marie recognises he is, that the logical part of the brain shuts down and they are not able to process instructions well. In fact it can prolong and worsen the distress. You then see two adults manhandling him across the playground and holding him again in the classroom, still talking to him and overwhelming him. On top of all this they see fit to give him a consequence of missing his breaktime. Essentially in my opinion they have punished a child who possibly has Special Educational Needs (this is not specified in the program), for being dysregulated purely because he was not being supported in the right way in the first place.
Similarly with another child named Jack there was the situation around him having a £10 note in his bag. He is told to get it and give it to the teacher with no explanation. I know based on a similar incident that happened with my own son there was possibly a fear that it would be taken away and not given back, and this was not made clear to Jack. He refused to go and get his £10 which is understandable if he was concerned about losing it, but rather than explain and reassure, threats are made to move him down the behaviour chart if he doesn’t do as he is told. In the end he is threatened to be moved on to red and miss break time which ultimately does happen. Jack makes the comment “for no reason” and that “he didn’t do anything” and I have to say I agree with him. This could easily have been prevented right at the start by explaining the concern over the £10 being in the bag and offering some options over how it could be kept safe.
The one child who I felt did particularly benefit from Marie’s approaches was Olivia. She seemed to really respond well to the relationship building and emotional literacy work with both Marie and her teacher, which I was pleased to see.
Despite being a bit Supernannyish at times, it wasn’t the worst program of this sort I have seen, however I am still waiting for the day that someone makes a program that looks at Special Educational Needs, supporting those needs and highlighting unmet needs rather than focussing on behaviour.
A light needs to be shone on the catastrophic underfunding of schools, the lack of training and support for teachers, the inadequacy of the school system and curriculum, and the fight for so many parents to simply get their child’s needs met and understood.